What a difference a day makes

As a white dude living and working in a Japanese school, you can never really be sure when something you do is going to cause a stir. Maybe one day word will get out that you've successfully managed to use the Japanese style toilet in the teacher's bathroom and you'll hear nothing for the rest of the afternoon except praise for your squatting abilities. Maybe another day you'll go to the gym during recess, make a lucky shot from the free throw line, and then be held up as the second-coming of Michael Jordan. I think one time I put my hood on during lunch with a class of Elementary schoolers (Japanese schools are butt-fuck cold in the winter and dress codes are lax, so I wear a hoodie a lot of the time), and the entirety of the class collapsed into hysterics and walked around hooded and cloaked, or, if they had neither, just with their shirts pulled up over their heads, for the rest of the meal. Sometimes, it's fully absurd the sort of things that impress Japanese kids, to leave the teachers out of the mix entirely. That being said, I was pretty sure that the hair cut I got yesterday was going to cause a real fuss today. Typed out, that sounds like potentially the most egotistical thing ever spoken, but consider the situation for a moment: 1) Japanese people pull absolutely zero punches when it comes to talking about physical appearances (cases in point: I've repeatedly been told by kids and adults alike that they want my eyelashes, the other day at the gym one of the trainers said I wasn't as fat as I used to be (asinine statement for multiple reasons), when my brother came to my school countless kids (boys and girls alike) came up to him and told him how attractive they thought he was, etc etc etc) 2) I stand out like a sore thumb 3) They make a fuss over me when I do nothing, and yesterday I did something that changed my look in dramatic fashion. When you put those things together, it means that you're in for some strange moments at school.

I got 'em. To be fair, though, I did look a lot different. For the last seven months or so these kids have been gotten used to looking at this sloppy, ugly-ass mug:



But then, out of the blue, I showed up to school looking like this entirely different and mildly threatening human being:



They didn't know how to respond. I mean, things are always awkward the day after you get a big haircut. It really stands out, you know, and people have to comment on it. "Wow, nice haircut." "You look really different." "It looks good." The English language is rife with such stock phrases to deal with just this situation. In Japan, apparently, the same rules don't apply. I guess in Japan you just scream, or stare at someone like they've just recently been shipped over from a different zoo, or maybe you run up to the recently shorn, vigorously shake their hand, and express your desire to be better friends in the future. All of those things happened to me today. A couple people tripped and fell in the hallway; one girl stood slackjawed staring at me in the teacher's room until she was ushered out; another girl asked why Chad's brother was back in Japan; a boy who has never shown me anything but mild hostility and disdain came over to tell me I looked great; another group of boys asked me where I got my hair cut and how much it cost; yet another boy stood in front of me and pretended to masturbate. To be fair, I'm pretty sure that boy has some serious mental disabilities and should probably be at a different school. But still, it was a pretty eventful day at Maruzuka Junior High. And even though I don't really want to admit it, I guess I have to say that I kinda liked it. Even though I said earlier that they make a fuss over a lot of little things I do, I guess I should say they used to. Recently I've been little more than a blip on anybody's radar, so it's nice to come roaring out of obscurity again, even if it means suffering a lot of awkward compliments. I'm pretty sure everything will be back to normal on Monday. Unless, of course, I decide to shave my head on Sunday.